Gordy’s toilet was talking to him.
“Gordy,” it asked, “are you getting enough fiber?”
Gordy sighed. He really didn’t want to get into an argument with his toilet again. He was already feeling pretty stressed out.
First, there was his girlfriend, Poppy Nicole, the love of his life. Poppy loved Gordy and Gordy loved Poppy, everyone knew that. But Gordy was sure she was getting ready to dump him. Everyone knew that, too.
Then there was his boss, Javed Jones. Gordy had already talked to him twice that morning and it was only 9:27.
All he wanted to do was to sit in peace for a few minutes and watch a little vid. Was that too much to ask?
“I’m just a little concerned,” the toilet continued, in a high, melodious voice, “because it’s been more than 24 hours since your last bowel movement.”